And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off...

­­­­These last couple months have been all about self-discovery and self-improvement. I woke up on my 27th birthday and realized that I was not the person that I wanted myself to be... I was a little overweight, stressed out, not eating healthy, not working out on a regular basis, just out of a relationship and overall, not very happy. I decided instead of having a New Year's Resolution, that I was going to have a New Year Older resolution and that working on becoming myself that I want to be was going to my priority for a year until my 28^th birthday.

So, for the time being, I am going to focus my energy on bettering myself. I have spent the majority of my life going out of the way helping other people, but not really taking care of myself in the process. One of my really good friends asked me a couple months ago, "Carissa, why don't you be selfish for once in your life, you are always selfless to others. It's time that you take care of yourself". So the time for me has come! When I have told my friends and mom this, they all pretty much responded the same way, "Good!" "Finally!" "You are the most important person to yourself", etc...

I kind of had a relapse a couple weeks ago with this self-improvement... I was sick for about 2 weeks with a sinus infection, was stressed out at work, blah blah blah. I took a mental health day and woke up with a migraine and sinus crap. Everything kind of rolled into one minor meltdown on my part. I took the majority of the weekend off of work to get myself out of the funk and feel better. Now, I know the symptoms of when this may happen again and I will do something about it, like take a weekday off to go skiing on an amazing powder day.

So here are a few things that I am doing for myself this year (yes, some of those are cliches, but they are working).

1) Working out on a regular basis. I try to go to the gym 3-4 times a week to do cardio exercises. I recently started going to a Boxing Boot Camp class on Wednesday nights with my friend Lindsey, which is a ton of fun! When I don't go the gym, I try to do arm weights and abs at home. I have also re-started to run again and prepping to run a few 5K's (and maybe 10K's) this year! I haven't really been able to run since I injured my ankle over 10 years ago and having surgery on it has allowed me to become active again. I was sick a week ago and didn't work out that whole week and it made me feel like a huge blob. I can already tell that I am becoming more toned and the pounds are starting to drop off! I monitor my fitness progress on Fitocracy, which is online website. If you want an invite, feel free to message me.

2) Eating well. I am working on cutting out fast food, in general greasy food, and soda and alcohol (except for special occasions) from my diet.  I am also starting to cook the majority of meals (cutting out on the eating out), eat more fruits and vegetables (including rabbit food..salads), eat more lean cuts of meat (though the occasional steak craving shall be fulfilled), cook with healthier oils, and drinking more water. Since the beginning of the year, I have only had fast food three times (used to be a weekly occurrence)... once for my mom's surgery and the hospital cafeteria was closed and I had some McDonalds, and twice when I was really upset and had my angry food Chick Fil-A, ha! But after each time I had those foods, I felt really disgusting and my stomach was not happy with me; so I won’t be doing that very often.  

3) Reading good books. Reading has always been one of my favorite past times. When I was little, I would get in trouble for waking up in the middle of the night and reading a book. I used to read every night before I went to bed, but that has lapsed in the last year or so. I am trying to read every day now something that is not science related. I am always looking for some good new reads, so if you have anything shoot them my way! I am going to start reading some more non-fiction and have a had a renewed interest in learning more about WWI and WWII.

4) Taking time each week to do something that I love. Two weeks ago, I went to a coffee shop and read a book for awhile. I love the smell of coffee, especially on yourself after you have left a coffee shop. Last week, I went skiing with my friend Andrea who was visiting from Rochester and also going to my happy place, the Denver Botanic Gardens to see an orchid showcase with my friend Emily. Yesterday, I went skiing at Vail for a picture perfect powder day and then went to see the Peter Pan ballet with a bunch of my girlfriends from grad school. It could be a small thing like painting my nails, buying a little something to make my happy, eating a good meal, learning a new cooking technique etc. This summer I am looking to get a community garden plot and get back into gardening, something that I have always loved :) (I am on the waiting list right now for one, anyone in Denver interested in gardening with me??).

5) Baking and cooking. For those that know me (and read this blog), I absolutely love cooking and baking. Baking has always been a stress reliever for me, I got it from my mom's side of the family. Just the act of baking alone destresses me... I don't even need to eat the baked goods to destress, so I give them away to others and don’t deal with the calories :P. My roommates always knew when I was stressed out because I was baking cookies, brownies, my famous banana bread, etc for them. I have also started to experiment more with cooking (a trait that I got from my dad's side of the family). I follow a few cooking Tweeters on the Twitter, where I have gotten some awesome recipes (and which I will later blog about :P). I also want to take some cooking techniques classes and some pastry decorating classes to expand my horizons.

6) Not sweating the small stuff. Not everything we do in life is completely in our control. If something goes wrong, it’s not worth it to freak out about. Just try to make the best out of the situation and move on. Recognize when I get stressed, that’s it’s sometimes best to take a day off, relax, and come back at the problem with a clear mind.

7) Putting myself out there in uncomfortable situations. I am an introvert (albeit, an extroverted introvert), so at times I just need to stay home and relax by myself and decompress. Lately, I have been falling into that habit a little too often. I decided that I am going to become more social and put myself through some uncomfortable situations. I am going to start running with the Irish Snug Running Club on Thursday nights as soon I as feel like I can run a 5K without looking like a foo. I am going to start working on things at coffee shops and people watching, start going to museums and bookstores by myself (something that I would not like to do previously). I am going to try and put together a grad student Kickball team for the Denver Kickball League (or something to that effect).

8) Taking the time to catch up with friends. In the past, I have been really good at keeping up with friends. With the stress of work, I have lapsed in this department and have been starting to feel like a bad friend. So friends, keep your phones on because you will probably receive a phone call from me soon! Also, check your mail, sometimes it fun to receive something besides bills and coupons in the mail!

9) Trying new things out. This summer, I want to try skydiving. My friend Marlon recently started working at an indoor skydiving tunnel and he has been bugging me to come over there and try it out. I think I will try it and if I like it, try outdoor skydiving this summer. I heard that there is a place near Longmont or Loveland that is supposed to be one of the most beautiful places to skydive. I also want to try taking salsa dancing or swing dancing classes. I am one of the most uncoordinated people that you will ever meet, so it would be fun to try something new out and see if I can become less of a klutz. I also want to go to some cooking and cake decorating classes to improve my skills. I also want to learn how to be a good photographer, how to frame shots, lighting, etc. My friend Emily just moved out here and has agreed to help me with that (and I can learn how to use her massive Canon 7D with the largest lens I have ever seen).

10) Becoming an optimist, and cutting out the pessimism in my life. I have realized that there are some very toxic, negative people and things in my life. People that no matter how well things are going for you, they have a way of bringing of bringing that down; people that you go out of the way to help them, but they would not do the same for you, etc. Things that you think bring you joy, but in the end are bad for you. I have decided that I am going to rid my life of these negative things and instead focus on the positivity of life. Don’t worry, if you are reading this blog, it means I haven’t cut you out of my life. Each day, I am trying to think of something that was good for the day and focus my energy on that; instead of something that went awry.

11) Sleeping well. I have been battling insomnia on and off for the last 6 months or so. There doesn't really seem to be a trend for when it comes and goes. Apparently, it runs on both sides of my family. I am going to try and get at least 7 hours of sleep a night. I have a hard time waking up in the morning when my alarm goes off, especially in the wintertime. I am going to try an iPhone app called the sleep cycle alarm clock. You put your iPhone under your sheets by your head and it monitors your sleep cycle. You choose an alarm setting within a half hour and it will have your alarm go off when you are in the lightest sleep cycle. I'll see how it goes. But I try to be productive with my insomnia... Today, I woke up and baked a cake, cleaned my apartment, and wrote this blog post. :p

12) Becoming informed and involved. I used to watch the news and read the newspapers all the time to keep myself up with current events. I have also started to lapse in the department. I want to make sure that I am well informed about all the world's stories (no matter how depressing they are). I am also going to become involved with volunteering for this year's elections. I have signed up to volunteer for a couple campaigns. I want to get more involved with getting young people to vote. I have a lot of friends who have never voted before or believe that their vote is not necessary. With the presidential election this year, it is important to go out and vote!! 

As my friend Amanda told me recently, "You have a life that people are jealous of. You are 27 years old, you are gorgeous, you are working in a field that you love, living an awesome city. Work it girl!". So for the time being, this is my plan. Slowly but surely, I am starting to be the person that I want to be. I am a work in progress, but at least there is being progress made right now.