Since my last post about the future of science, I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my PhD when I am finished (though this won't be for another 2 years or so, knock on wood!).
A few weeks ago, I was ready to drop out of my program with my Master's degree because I was so miserable. I was overworked and stressed out (just like a regular grad student should be as I am told by one post-doc in my lab). I was not enjoying the research very much because the experiments were not working like it was predicted to (you can't just expect everything to work out magically in science, I now realize). I started talking with people in my lab, other grad students and post-docs, and non-science folks about their experiences as graduate students and whether they would ever do it again if they could change their life and for some general advice for my life. Almost everyone responded that they would not do grad school again and that they were miserable both in their graduate work and as post-docs for various reasons. The thing that really sent me over the edge was that we had a visit from a famous professor in our field and the students were invited to have lunch with him. One of the students asked him what advice he had for our futures in science. He answered seriously "Get out of science. There are not enough jobs for PhDs in this field" and went on a rant for like 5 minutes. It was really disheartening to hear this as serious advice coming from a researcher. I was really upset with this and this lead me to believe that leaving science and Mastering out as a real viable option.
Instead of letting all of this negativity bring me down anymore, I decided yesterday that I am inspired by it. As some of you know, when someone tells me not to do something, I go ahead and do it. My current situation with science and working on my PhD reminds me of my first semester my junior year of college . I had an unbelievably difficult courseload with my biochemistry major: Cell Biology with a 3 hour lab, Analytical Chemistry with two 4 hour labs, Calc II, and I was also a Gen Chem TA for two 4 hour labs a week. I was struggling with Calc II and was about to drop the class because I was failing (despite meeting with my professor a couple hours of week for tutoring, the tests that she gave were absolutely ridiculous. After half of the class threatened to drop, she gave us re-writes on the exam). After having a conversation with a nameless person, I was given the advice "Why don't you change to a major more fit for a girl?". Instead of letting that advice bring me down, I chose to let it inspire me. Though that semester ended up being the worst semester of my college career, I survived it. In subsequent semesters, I worked my ass off, brought my grades up, and went back on the Dean's List for my grades. At the end of my college career, I was one of four people graduating with a Biochemistry degree cum laude, and was the only female graduating with that degree (at matriculation, there were over 50 people declaring him or herself as Biochemistry majors). So, I see my current situation echoing my undergraduate experience. I am going to brush off all the negativity around me and be like a Phoenix and rise from the ashes. I now have the motivation and inspiration to finish my PhD and prove all of those nay-sayers wrong.
I had a long talk with my boss last week where I told him that I was not going to pursue academic science as a career when I had my PhD. He was taken aback a little bit. When he asked me what I wanted to do with my life afterwards, I did not have a definite answer. The truth is, I have no freaking idea what I want to do with my life anymore, but I know that staying in academic research is not going to be it. I also know that I don't want to teach, I don't have the balls to stand in front of a class and teach them everyday.
I am lucky that my graduate program is having a career exploration series that looks at alternative careers in science where we have alums from our program talk about their new jobs. I am talking with a former alum that was in my advisor's lab who is now a medical writer in the Boston area. I am definitely thinking about looking more into this field, all of the post-docs that I have worked with when I was both a research tech and now a graduate student have said that I have a knack for writing. In a couple weeks, we have two editors from two high profile journals: Journal of Experimental Medicine and Nature Reviews Immunology. I am interested also in learning more about the editorial process (especially since I am in the process of writing two papers). I also want to learn more about the patent side of things. There is a class offered by the Tech transfer office that I am interested in taking Fall semester.
The truth is, I love my field of study, Immunology... it is so freaking fascinating to learn how our body fights off cancer, diseases, infections, etc. The field is always dramatically changing and we are learning new things everyday. After I defend my PhD, I definitely want to be associated with this field.
So as far as what the future holds for me, I don't know, but I am excited to find out what the road has in for me :)
No comments:
Post a Comment